What should Christian parents do when their children begin to deconstruct their faith? This important topic was addressed by relationship expert John Marriott during a recent *Focus on the Family* broadcast, where he offered valuable insights on how parents can effectively disciple their children in their faith journey.
Marriott, an author and former pastor with expertise in Christian "deconversion," explained that many young people experience a gradual erosion of their beliefs. As this phenomenon gains attention in media—often highlighted by the faith journeys of well-known Christians—Marriott emphasizes the need for parents to respond with love and grace.
When a child expresses doubts about their faith, Marriott advises parents to remain calm and avoid panic. “The first thing to do is to say, ‘Thank you for sharing this with me. I know it’s not easy,’” he said. Acknowledging the difficulty of the conversation can strengthen the parent-child relationship and open the door for further dialogue.
Listening is crucial in these discussions. Marriott suggests asking open-ended questions such as, “How long have you felt this way?” and “Are you still in the process of figuring this out?” This approach allows parents to understand their child's perspective without overwhelming them with responses.
Marriott stresses that regardless of the outcome—whether a child remains a committed follower of Jesus or distances themselves from the faith—parents should reassure them of their unconditional love and support. “We will always champion you, no matter where you end up,” he affirmed.
Even as children explore their beliefs, it's important for parents to continue living out their faith and sharing it authentically. Marriott encourages parents to focus on essential beliefs, such as those outlined in the Apostles' Creed, while recognizing that not all convictions are non-negotiable. Overemphasizing minor beliefs can create barriers to faith.
Marriott also highlights the significance of personal spiritual disciplines. “You will reflect what you are before your children,” he noted. By staying connected to God through prayer and Scripture, parents can model a genuine faith that resonates with their kids.
Additionally, he suggests encouraging children to seek secondary authority figures—trusted mentors outside the family—who can provide guidance and support. This approach allows for a broader perspective and can help children navigate their faith journey more comfortably.
Ultimately, Marriott emphasizes that while parents should guide their children, they must also give them space to explore their beliefs. “The harder we hold on, the more likely rebellion will occur,” he cautioned.
As Christian parents navigate these challenging conversations, Marriott’s insights offer a roadmap for fostering open dialogue and maintaining strong relationships while encouraging a genuine pursuit of faith.
